At a glance, logging into Fantasy Feeder is much like any other online chatroom or dating website. Different forums, threads, conversations, images of scantily clad members looking for attention and an array of suggestive, intriguing and humorous display names fill the screen and ignite interest in many passersby. But look closer and you’ll begin to notice something out of the ordinary. BBW (that’s Big Beautiful Woman), SSBBW (Super-sized Big Beautiful Woman) and SSBHM (you guessed it, that one stands for Super-sized Big Handsome Male) are all names that pop up for a ‘chat’.
Yes, this is a world where size really does matter. But we’re not talking about your ample appendage or ‘fun bags’, oh no, it’s the surrounding flesh that really gets SSBHMs going here. This is a place where “I want to thrust to orgasm between your folds” is a desired one-liner and a coveted compliment. Where instead of dildos and vibrators giving pleasure, its hotdogs and Twinkies that truly arouse. And there are plenty more like it. From Feedee World to Fattie Gossip and The Weight Room, any BBW who seeks a SSBHM can log into these havens from the comfort of their own home, whilst snacking to their hearts content.
We have all heard of it. Feederism, the relatively underground sexual fetish which involves one partner (the feeder) ‘nourishing’ the other, both to gain sexual arousal and gratification during the act and to encourage a gain in mass of the feedee. But how much do we really know about it and those involved?
Feederism can often vary in nature, from a consensual act between two people, who clearly love and have an admiration for a larger figure, to non consensual abuse, which can often involve force-feeding and bondage. It is undertaken with the intention of fattening up the feedee to the point of immobility and complete reliance on their sexual partner.
But what is the attraction you ask? Contrary to popular belief, satisfaction can be obtained from the smallest amount of weight gain to the largely circulated image of eventual morbid obesity. In this case, feeders typically find the fondling of their overweight partner’s adipose - fatty tissue - particularly arousing, and some male feeders typically enjoy inserting their penises between the deep folds of their partner’s body, thrusting to climax between their skin. Equally, they may be stimulated by overhanging flaps on the thighs, arms and back, and female feeders have an overwhelming interest in the overweight male’s larger breasts. However, in some instances, the real satisfaction comes from the act of eating, feeding and the enjoyment of food in an intimate context. For some, the weight gain is merely an added bonus.
Another act enjoyed by fans of the fetish is Stuffing. This is the practice of smaller women gorging until their abdomens become swollen and bloated. It is believed to cause arousal due to the pressure within the body upon the sexual organs. Other common practices that stimulate partners purely from the act of eating include Funneling. Here, the feeder places a clear plastic funnel into the mouth of their partner and pours food and thick liquid, commonly cake batter, down the feedee’s throat whilst said feedee performs an array of sexual practices on their lover. Everybody’s a winner.
One whose fascination with the fetish is so intense that it has become their work is James Carter. Carter, a playwright from New York, wrote a play entitled Feeder: A Love Story. The play follows the relationship of Jesse and Noel. Like many other couples, they met online, fell in love, and got married. When Noel and Jesse delve into the underground community of feederism they unlock an astonishing world of passion, love and food. The play follows the couple throughout their relationship, delving into their deepest passions and desires.
The play, directed by José Zayas, starring Jennifer Conley Darling and which opened in New York early March this year, presents a transmedia theatrical event, bringing together a live webcam feed and internet video blogging from jessennoel.blogspot.com. It is aimed to connect with and engage the audience online before and after the play. On the blog, the actors post video and text about their lives as feeder and feedee, revealing the terrible and heartbreaking pitfalls and difficulties but also the insatiable cravings and rewards of this food fixation.
For Carter, it was vital to show the fetish (and his characters) in the truest form. “There are extremities to feederism, but deep down the people who live this lifestyle are just people. Most do not consider it a choice. It is the way they were born.” The play’s intention is to quite simply “explore the ambivalence we all live with about food, our bodies, and our public and private lives. On the one hand obesity is an epidemic, especially in America. On the other, eating disorders are among the most complicated illnesses to treat and kill hundreds each year.”
Aside from exploring the larger issues and problems we face with regards to food and weight, Carter agrees that above all else, the play is about acceptance, experimentation and love. “As with any alternative lifestyle, people get easily offended, especially when it is outside of the social norm. Society has drilled into every one of us the idea of what beauty is supposed to be. And with society’s view of beautiful comes the pre-conceived notion of who deserves to be loved.”
There are some cases and ways in which this underground fetish is continuing to come to the forefront, but is gaining less than supportive attention. Donna Simpson is one person doing just that. Simpson, 42, from New Jersey has set herself the ultimate goal to become the world’s fattest woman. Hoping to stuff herself to an astounding 1000lbs she anticipates reaching her goal weight in just two years by consuming a mighty 12,000 calories a day. A mean feat for even the most experienced feedee.
To support herself during her weight gain mission, Simpson has set up a website where her viewers and ‘admirers’ can pay to see her chomp, munch and guzzle and even pose in evocative photographs. In a video posted at Fox News, Simpson explains “I also have videos of me because they like to see me in motion and see how my fat jiggles and moves”.
Simpson, whose husband is allegedly encouraging her weight gain and who, as she puts it, is a “real belly man”, admits that she adores the fact that perfect strangers are willing to pay to see her gorge and binge simply because “they are paying to see me and they adore it just as they would a woman of normal size”.
Yet, not all are as supportive or infatuated with Ms Simpson and her fetish. Allen Steadham of The International Size Acceptance Association explained how “ISAA promotes self esteem, healthy food choices and exercise at any size as part of our Respect Fitness Health initiative. What Donna Simpson, and many like her, are practicing is not acceptance.” A spokesperson for the National Association to advanced Fat Acceptance agreed, “NAAFA supports an individual’s right to control all choices concerning their body. As it is reported that Ms Simpson’s partner encourages her to gain weight, NAAFA opposes this, just as we oppose the practice of feederism.”
It is clear that feederism is a subculture which, on the whole, withdraws from the spotlight, and some may agree with good reason too. Fat acceptance groups, such as NAAFA and ISAA, spurn partakers of the fetish for fear that it will only increase and deepen the amount of fat hatred that already exists within society. They, and many more, believe the fetish and those involved to be no more than a symbol of someone else’s perversion.
So back to the Fantasy Feeder website. By delving into the huge amount of chatrooms and websites dedicated to feederism and by exploring this world, the message surrounding the fetish is clear. It is about desire, fulfilment and above all pleasure. A member of the chatroom, let’s call her BBW, describes how “there is such a perverse fear of obesity in our society today that breads a negative impression of anyone that isn’t at least trying to lose some weight”. She continues, “let’s face it, we feeders and fedees are few and far between. We practice a special brand of kink in the privacy of our own lives and we do not seek or expect approval from any of the general public.” When asked if feederism is a perversion, BBW agrees “yes it is perverse but who is to say perversions are bad? We are all perverse in our own way, although we may not all be confident enough to pursue it”.
And this is the thing about feederism, yes it may be unhealthy, to some disgusting and grotesque and ultimately a ‘perverse’ fetish. But it is a way for an alternative community to gain joy, gratification and in the end sexual pleasure and fulfilment from something they love. Their unrelenting desire and insatiable hunger is what drives them, and who are we to disagree? Now, would someone please pass the cake?